Entry: Hasrat Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Izinkan aku mengutip isi sebuah surat:

'I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone I think and plan. --Have you not seen this? Can you fail to understand my wishes?--I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. --Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most deviating in


Benar, Jane Austen, 'such a letter was not to be soon recovered from'.

(Kutipan surat di atas aku ambil dari 'Persuasion'-nya Jane Austen, btw).

Itu lho yang aku pengen ada di hidupku sekarang. Passion, hasrat, hati. As well as wanting someone with a heart.

Jane Austen katanya selalu memberikan peran 'man of books' untuk karakter-karakter hero-nya. Darcy, Mr Knightley, Henry Tilney seperti itu. Aku juga pengen punya my own man of books, tapi aku juga pengen si man of books ini menggunakan hatinya.

Nggak selalu berarti dia harus mellow-mellow dan/atau puitis, tapi ada sesuatu yang sifatnya personal yang muncul dalam interaksinya. Ada rekam jejak kepribadiannya gitu yang berbekas di aku, atau tandatangan kepribadiannya gitu. Bukan sekedar sesuatu yang impersonal.

Ah, I am now without a crush in sight.


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